Episode 39
What We've Learned So Far - Part Seven
This week, Trisha reflects on the insights shared by five diverse guests, highlighting the themes of cultural intelligence, service, and appreciation of differences. She explores how these themes emerge through the guests' experiences, such as 'lightbulb moments', understanding power distance, the value of failure, and celebrating generational diversity. These reflections offer valuable lessons in increasing cultural awareness and adopting strategies for better intercultural interactions.
Transcript
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[00:01:03] Trisha: And as we are thinking about our thinking, this is one of the four capabilities that make up cultural intelligence. Sometimes it's referred to as cultural metacognition or CQ strategy. One of the ways that we build that capability is to look back on our experiences and reflect. So today we're doing just that.
[:[00:02:21] Trisha: The first one was just what stood out to me in going back was that each of these people displayed a real love of other people and a delight in serving people. the first one that really stood out was Fadilah's delight in meeting people from different cultures. I love the story about how he took up cycling so that he could enjoy times with people who weren't part of the diplomatic community where he was working.
[:[00:02:48] Jennifer: Oh, I love people. I just, I, I love, I love people and, and, you know, I, I feel incredibly blessed that in all the roles that I've had, whether I sort of intentionally gravitated towards that and, you know, in, in, in the later part of my career, yeah, much more intentionally. The question I've always asked myself is how do I add value to people?
[:[00:03:17] Trisha: And in many ways that. that joy, that, that leaning towards people from all different types of people is actually demonstrative of another cultural intelligence capability. Not so much the thinking side, but the motivation, it's high CQ drive, and it's really that openness and motivation to be with people from different backgrounds.
[:[00:04:18] Trisha: Brian spoke about his experience growing up in a very diverse community and how much he appreciated that. And then his experience staying in the homes of his black teammates. he was a ball player, and how the families would welcome him in and there would be open discussions about lots of issues, compared to his home. That was quite a difference and it was something that he really enjoyed.
[:[00:04:57] Trisha: And Marc shared that he'd been a Rotary Exchange student. So in high school at the age of 15, he spent a year in Japan, which was a massive shift from his earlier life in Illinois, Michigan. I haven't seen research on the development of cultural intelligence in children. And so if anybody has seen any, I'd love to see more and to sort of think about, you know, how cultural intelligence can be developed in children from these experiences.
[:[00:05:50] Trisha: Brian spoke about the lightbulb moment when the mother of his black friend helped him to see that bias and problems existed in many different groups. And it wasn't just in his. Team as he referred to himself thinking about being a white male compared to many of his friends who were from a different background, but that discussion with her helped him to see that that bias could sit in many different groups.
[:[00:06:31] Jennifer: And you see these light bulb moments go on but just suddenly go get it now. And that's, you know, I live for those. That's, that's what brings me incredible joy
[:[00:07:09] Trisha: He also spoke about the joy of helping others step into the different perspectives. He referred to them as aha moments.
[:[00:07:26] Marc: And seeing them change their perspective, then as a result of that, that was always the most rewarding thing.
[:[00:07:57] Trisha: He also spoke about making difficult decisions himself and stepping into their shoes so that he could feel and see the different perspectives. He talked about the experience of different cultures and the moments when you see other cultures behaving differently to your own. He spoke about how easy it is to fall into judgment.
[:[00:08:25] Samkelo: My South African culture, you tackle issues. Can you imagine what is a challenge when I'm dealing with somebody who does not come from that culture? I can think that they are being secretive, they are hiding things from me
[:[00:09:03] Samkelo: I'm not trying to impose it on them. I'm not trying to give them the right answers. Just trying to play that mirror, ask the uncomfortable questions and say, hey, this process, this system, is it equitable or not?
[:[00:09:26] Trisha: Another theme that came out in a number of the episodes of the last five people was recognizing that one of the significant cultural differences that people experience is around what people often referred to as low power distance and high power distance. And for those of you for whom this is a new concept, we're really talking about different values.
[:[00:10:08] Trisha: So there's a high power difference and some people are given more power. Some people are given more respect because of that power. And so it's right in those cultures to show that respect. Samkelo spoke about his culture where he was brought up to respect adults.
[:[00:10:33] Samkelo: because in my own culture, which is the culture, we are taught to respect adults.
[:[00:10:48] Samkelo: I'm now having to performance manage those people. I'm now having to have uncomfortable discussions with those people. Those people are older and mature, and they're married and I'm not yet married.
[:[00:11:20] Samkelo: And I have to be conscious of what the past taught me and what the present is gonna be asking me.
[:[00:11:48] Trisha: Because that's the way her daughter had grown up. Marc also spoke about experiencing this difference when he moved to Tokyo on his exchange.
[:[00:12:23] Trisha: And so this theme of different experiences of power difference was something that was significant for three of our interviewees as they told their stories and as I work with people, you know, moving countries, as companies send their expatriates around the world.
[:[00:13:01] Trisha: There's some research in metacognition about failure awareness, and the more we're aware of our failures, the faster we can learn to be effective. And so you can imagine somebody dealing with people who are different to them, we make mistakes, there will be failures. And so it makes sense that this theme came out in every one of these five people's stories.
[:[00:13:27] Fadilah: And I said, my God, what happened if I fail? So I believe that don't worry with failure. You just have to try. The sad thing is you're not trying at all.
[:[00:13:40] Fadilah: It's just always this fear of Trying to prevent you doing things, but trust me, I think when you just go through it and, things we might not go as good as you, if you thought, but use that as part of your, learning curve
[:[00:14:15] Brian: I would say be humble. Realize it's not going to go well all the time. And that's okay. That's part of the fun of it. And to appreciate the people who are around you and work your tail off.
[:[00:14:29] Jennifer: be gentle on yourself. I think, you know, know that there's no perfect way of doing it you're going to get it wrong sometimes and fall flat on your face and. And, um, you know, and I've learned to, that sometimes you have to, it's okay to have a pity party occasionally, but as I always say you know, sometimes we, we throw ourselves a pity party, we bring out the banners, we have the drinks and then we go, right, okay, party over now, clear it up
[:[00:14:59] Trisha: One of the other themes that came through was celebrating and appreciating generational differences. Marc and Jennifer both spoke about recognizing that cultural intelligence isn't necessarily just about international cultures, it's also about other aspects of difference, and both of them referred to generational differences.
[:[00:15:39] Trisha: Appreciating and valuing those differences, but both of them recognized that they needed to take those differences into account as they dealt with people. he says he's raising his daughters in a different world to the one that he grew up in, and he's adapting to that. He's adapting to, as he described it,
[:[00:16:04] Trisha: Fadilah and Brian both spoke about working with young people, mentoring young people, coaching them, and noticing the differences they're bringing and being energized by working with them. Brian spoke about hoping for a world where everyone is included, regardless of age or gender or race or any aspect of difference.
[:[00:16:42] Trisha: And that, my friends, is high cultural metacognition. When we notice the differences, when we wrestle to learn about the differences so that we can operate in a way that might be different when it's needed. And when, as Jennifer would say, we can meet above our differences in common humanity.
[:[00:17:27] Trisha:
